I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
