Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sext me about skeletons
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize