all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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