she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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