You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
