office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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