Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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