You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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