Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
