Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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