I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
