And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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