Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
