Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
