she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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