id be glad to
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
