Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
