i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Small penises have feelings too.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
