So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
