Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
