So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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