You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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