i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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