hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
