Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
