Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
