We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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