bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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