I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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