This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
