whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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