am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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