Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
