Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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