dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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