i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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