Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Fuck appropriateness.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
