My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Found the puke drawer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
