her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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