Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
