Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
