youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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