he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
