I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
