It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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