Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
