let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
