...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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