If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
