I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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