i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
