brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
