I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
