So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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