Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize