how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
