Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
